Monday, September 15, 2008
Just wait!
So I have lots to say...but I'm super busy. Hurry, get anxious and excited for my next post!
Friday, September 12, 2008
I Like, I Like When We Surely Like One Another
AY. So, I totally fail on my upkeep on this blog, but from what I can see from other blogs, I'm actually not that bad. So props to me!
Let's see, so what's been goin' on? This whole week has been kind of a blur. I got my first foundations of journalism essay back and it was pretty much torn apart. I felt like it wasn't completely my fault since I was unaware that it was supposed to be written as a journalistic essay...which I know, sounds like 'duh, obviously!' but you know what?...shut up. So I'm probably going to go to the Writing Center if the rest of my essays head in this direction...you know, the horrible mangled cracked-out whore direction.
Other than that though, I did extremely well on my quiz and lectures are pretty damn entertaining.
Hmm. Oh yeah. I feel crunchy saying it, but I've realized Britney Spears' most recent album is great to workout, to. I'm not sure why, but it is. Like, her explicit lyrics about promiscuity and penis-in-vagina innuendos are like sexual and gentle tucks under your chin, telling you to keep runnin'.
Brooklyn class is going pretty swell as well. I'm really excited to see what Brooklyn is like, since I'm a baby and have never really ventured out of Manhattan too much.
History of the Universe is pretty cool. Prof. Harbi is funny and the class is not actually that difficult surprisingly.
Hall Council is getting underway and I'm officially the third floor floor rep. I'd love to have a bigger involvement, but I'll hopefully be whoring my body out in Prague next semester.
But besides that, my life hasn't really been that interesting. I feel like my posts have gotten progressively less and less creative and fun, filled with not-as-knee-slappingly-funny similes and such, but whatever. Don't be a bitch-ass judge of me.
Today also marked the first day of what is sure to be a series of rainy days. Except NY rainy days suck, b/c they're not only wet, but humid (that's what...he said?). I walked all the way from Gramercy to the gym, back to Gramercy and all the way to 726 Broadway and back. Boy was I wet. At least in Seattle, you just get the rain; you know, like a gentle golden shower from the heavens, but here, it's like being jizzed on my a gust of rain while being trapped in a luke-warm sauna. It's lovely.
Anywho, I watched a lot of The Office today, but I finished my reading for my Same-Sex presentation and my lab...which means I will be working on my Same-Sex essay all day tomorrow. Ugh.
Pleasingly yours,
Penis Wong
*Donora-Shh
Let's see, so what's been goin' on? This whole week has been kind of a blur. I got my first foundations of journalism essay back and it was pretty much torn apart. I felt like it wasn't completely my fault since I was unaware that it was supposed to be written as a journalistic essay...which I know, sounds like 'duh, obviously!' but you know what?...shut up. So I'm probably going to go to the Writing Center if the rest of my essays head in this direction...you know, the horrible mangled cracked-out whore direction.
Other than that though, I did extremely well on my quiz and lectures are pretty damn entertaining.
Hmm. Oh yeah. I feel crunchy saying it, but I've realized Britney Spears' most recent album is great to workout, to. I'm not sure why, but it is. Like, her explicit lyrics about promiscuity and penis-in-vagina innuendos are like sexual and gentle tucks under your chin, telling you to keep runnin'.
Brooklyn class is going pretty swell as well. I'm really excited to see what Brooklyn is like, since I'm a baby and have never really ventured out of Manhattan too much.
History of the Universe is pretty cool. Prof. Harbi is funny and the class is not actually that difficult surprisingly.
Hall Council is getting underway and I'm officially the third floor floor rep. I'd love to have a bigger involvement, but I'll hopefully be whoring my body out in Prague next semester.
But besides that, my life hasn't really been that interesting. I feel like my posts have gotten progressively less and less creative and fun, filled with not-as-knee-slappingly-funny similes and such, but whatever. Don't be a bitch-ass judge of me.
Today also marked the first day of what is sure to be a series of rainy days. Except NY rainy days suck, b/c they're not only wet, but humid (that's what...he said?). I walked all the way from Gramercy to the gym, back to Gramercy and all the way to 726 Broadway and back. Boy was I wet. At least in Seattle, you just get the rain; you know, like a gentle golden shower from the heavens, but here, it's like being jizzed on my a gust of rain while being trapped in a luke-warm sauna. It's lovely.
Anywho, I watched a lot of The Office today, but I finished my reading for my Same-Sex presentation and my lab...which means I will be working on my Same-Sex essay all day tomorrow. Ugh.
Pleasingly yours,
Penis Wong
*Donora-Shh
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
I'm losing some steam...
Haha, so it's only been a little over a week, and I'm already losing steam to update this everyday. Ay. I don't think anyone even really reads this anymore...but whatever. I'll update tomorrow--I am exhausted!
Monday, September 8, 2008
Take Me On a Trip, I'd Like to Go Someday
So Samurai Girl actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Sure, the acting wasn't great, the dialouge left a lot to be desired, and the 'serious' scenes were just comedic. Like, the actors let out sex moans when they got stabbed or something. And I have to say that ABC Family is pushing the envelope with Samruai Girl. There was insinuated sex, some swearing, and a good amount of scandy clothing choices. All in all, I was pleased, but the ending was SO dumb. Ugh. Oh well.
Let's see, I'm trying to update this everyday, and it seems that I already failed at that; I think I'll change my pledge to posting everyday--that way I can just do what I did yesterday and be okay. I'm smart.
So let's see, other than a rather disappointing Samurai Girl, I had a good brunch, except for the fact that Palladium decided to remove the delicious chocolate cake they used to have. Now they have this banana-chocolate-chip cake. It looks like a ripe banana riddled with herpes and some poop frosting. Of course, this didn't deter me from eating it, and it actually wasn't that bad. But I miss me some chocolate cake. It was SO good. And you know that's what she said.
Other than that, yesterday was full of reading and such. Oh yeah. AND 8 CENT YOGURT at 16 Handles. It was effing amazing. Me, Alexis, and Teresa waited in a ridiculous line for over an hour, but god, it was great. We all got over a pound of frozen yogurt each and paid less than a quarter for all of us. Teresa even treated us. I felt special, and loved.
Let's see. Today I had my first History of the Universe lab; it was actually pretty easy for my inept math abilities. I'm no Einstein in regards to my scientific ability, but I'm just as hot as was.
I went to the gym and had an awkward encounter with a guy in the locker room. I was still kinda groggy from my 8AM lab and was lost in the melodious voice of Mr. Andrew McMahon and I dropped my padlock and when I bent down to grab it, the guy next to me decided to drop his towel. It was an almost penis-to-face collision right there. It was awkward, but the other guy didn't seem to mind.
After my workout, I went to Trader Joe's and went to class. Brooklyn class was interesting. We learned that the Dutch settlers in Brooklyn were very into killing Beavers for their pelts and body parts. We of course made the obligatory vagina joke. Hehe, beavers...vagina. Maturity is my strong suit. She said something about Beaver testicles and this guy said "that doesn't make sense" hahaha. I love that class.
The rest of my day wasn't too interesting. To add to my Penn Badgley sightings, I almost bumped into Brooke Shields today. I was carrying my Trader Joe's bag and looking at the filming trailers and the damn-bitch-uneven-ho-bag sidewalk tripped me when I saw Brooke and she said "excuse me!" It was pretty sweet. I of course pushed her over and called her a bitch.
Anyways, other than that, I've been drowing in Baedeker, Journalism, and other miscellaneous work. Ay. And I'm still waiting for a reply back from the internship I applied for. I hope I get it!
Night!
Patty-boy.
*Estelle w/Kanye West-American Boy
Let's see, I'm trying to update this everyday, and it seems that I already failed at that; I think I'll change my pledge to posting everyday--that way I can just do what I did yesterday and be okay. I'm smart.
So let's see, other than a rather disappointing Samurai Girl, I had a good brunch, except for the fact that Palladium decided to remove the delicious chocolate cake they used to have. Now they have this banana-chocolate-chip cake. It looks like a ripe banana riddled with herpes and some poop frosting. Of course, this didn't deter me from eating it, and it actually wasn't that bad. But I miss me some chocolate cake. It was SO good. And you know that's what she said.
Other than that, yesterday was full of reading and such. Oh yeah. AND 8 CENT YOGURT at 16 Handles. It was effing amazing. Me, Alexis, and Teresa waited in a ridiculous line for over an hour, but god, it was great. We all got over a pound of frozen yogurt each and paid less than a quarter for all of us. Teresa even treated us. I felt special, and loved.
Let's see. Today I had my first History of the Universe lab; it was actually pretty easy for my inept math abilities. I'm no Einstein in regards to my scientific ability, but I'm just as hot as was.
I went to the gym and had an awkward encounter with a guy in the locker room. I was still kinda groggy from my 8AM lab and was lost in the melodious voice of Mr. Andrew McMahon and I dropped my padlock and when I bent down to grab it, the guy next to me decided to drop his towel. It was an almost penis-to-face collision right there. It was awkward, but the other guy didn't seem to mind.
After my workout, I went to Trader Joe's and went to class. Brooklyn class was interesting. We learned that the Dutch settlers in Brooklyn were very into killing Beavers for their pelts and body parts. We of course made the obligatory vagina joke. Hehe, beavers...vagina. Maturity is my strong suit. She said something about Beaver testicles and this guy said "that doesn't make sense" hahaha. I love that class.
The rest of my day wasn't too interesting. To add to my Penn Badgley sightings, I almost bumped into Brooke Shields today. I was carrying my Trader Joe's bag and looking at the filming trailers and the damn-bitch-uneven-ho-bag sidewalk tripped me when I saw Brooke and she said "excuse me!" It was pretty sweet. I of course pushed her over and called her a bitch.
Anyways, other than that, I've been drowing in Baedeker, Journalism, and other miscellaneous work. Ay. And I'm still waiting for a reply back from the internship I applied for. I hope I get it!
Night!
Patty-boy.
*Estelle w/Kanye West-American Boy
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Saturday, September 6, 2008
I Am Such a Haunted Soul
Today was a very uninteresting and unproductive and one of those stay-in-and-don't-do-anything kind of days. That's why this post will be boring and short.
I awoke with the hopes of going to the gym early before it would be god-awful crowded but I got distracted searching for this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWZz4haiWHo
I'm not sure why I thought that was so funny, but when Carissa and I watched it last night, we were rolling on the floor laughing. Well actually not; I don't think anything has ever made me laugh that hard, but yeah, it's pretty damn funny.
Anywho, I finally got to the gym and it was quite crowded, but not as bad as I thought it would be. I lifted some weights, and towards the end of my workout, I lost interest and got some food from the dining hall and ate with Teresa for a bit back at her place. I hung around there for way too long, playing Rock Band. I am master as singing Maps. It's pretty ridiculous.
I ventured back to my room and wrote almost all of my paper until I went back to Teresa's and ate some dinner with them with hopes of watching Samurai Girl, but (I'm guessing) because of the crazy hurricane weather, our cable was out. It was sad; kind of like a small stab in the heart, but not a fatal stab, because Samurai Girl isn't all that important to me, but yeah, I was nonetheless disappointed.
We watched The Office instead, which was pretty grand.
I ended up doing laundry and when I went to get a free dryer, they were both taken! AGH! It's times like these that I miss the conveniences of living at home. But oh well, my clothes are drying as I speak.
Well, I'm sorry this post sucks. I need to finish some reading and while I wait for my laundry to finish up.
Peace and love,
Paddy
*The Hush Sound-Don't Wake Me Up (thanks again, Jay Tru!)
I awoke with the hopes of going to the gym early before it would be god-awful crowded but I got distracted searching for this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWZz4haiWHo
I'm not sure why I thought that was so funny, but when Carissa and I watched it last night, we were rolling on the floor laughing. Well actually not; I don't think anything has ever made me laugh that hard, but yeah, it's pretty damn funny.
Anywho, I finally got to the gym and it was quite crowded, but not as bad as I thought it would be. I lifted some weights, and towards the end of my workout, I lost interest and got some food from the dining hall and ate with Teresa for a bit back at her place. I hung around there for way too long, playing Rock Band. I am master as singing Maps. It's pretty ridiculous.
I ventured back to my room and wrote almost all of my paper until I went back to Teresa's and ate some dinner with them with hopes of watching Samurai Girl, but (I'm guessing) because of the crazy hurricane weather, our cable was out. It was sad; kind of like a small stab in the heart, but not a fatal stab, because Samurai Girl isn't all that important to me, but yeah, I was nonetheless disappointed.
We watched The Office instead, which was pretty grand.
I ended up doing laundry and when I went to get a free dryer, they were both taken! AGH! It's times like these that I miss the conveniences of living at home. But oh well, my clothes are drying as I speak.
Well, I'm sorry this post sucks. I need to finish some reading and while I wait for my laundry to finish up.
Peace and love,
Paddy
*The Hush Sound-Don't Wake Me Up (thanks again, Jay Tru!)
Friday, September 5, 2008
Pinching Pennies Just to Pinch Them
Today was pretty ballin' and pretty unproductive, which is horrible because I have whore's-std-count-load of homework, but whatever. I woke earlier than I usually would on a Friday morning to attend my first Dean's Circle meeting. I left later than I had wanted and powerwalked all the way to Silver and actually got there five minutes early. Delicious loaf cakes were being served (you know, like the lemon loafs that I wanted to get blended into my Strawberries and Creme Frap at Starbucks). Hot coffee and water for tea were also up for grabs, but I was hot enough (and I mean that in all senses of the word) and was not in the mood for hot liquids.
I awkwardly took a seat by myself, despite (surprisingly) knowing a lot of people in Dean's Circle. We took a look at the pseudo-syllabus as Bob Wallace walked us through the community service, reading, and research projects we'd be doing throughout the year. I was immediately disappointed that our year's Dean's Circle group would again be going to London because of our studying of Darwin. Ay.
After hearing about what Dean's Circle would get to do though, I became much less disappointed. Kind of like that feeling when you reach into a dirty pair of jeans on laundry day and find a twenty dollar bill. I mean, you know you aren't really richer (unless they're not your jeans), but it feels good anyways (that's what she said...?). I came to the conclusion that I shouldn't be a whiny little bitch. Really, paying a 300 dollar deposit is totally worth it for a year's worth of free seminars, food, speeches, outtings, and a trip to London for a week. I mean, it's a pretty great deal, and the people in Dean's Circle seem pretty ballin'. I really want to design a cool design for our attire--bringing back my old high school spirit.
My only pickle I'm in is that Dean's Circle conflicts with my plans to study abroad in Prague. I'm not sure what to do. I guess I could always go with my sure-fire solution of sleeping with the faculty, but I've been so tired lately; all I could do is probably just lay there, and that's no fun.
Anyways, I wanted to take a whole plate of the leftover loaf cakes, but I planned on going straight to the gym after Dean's Circle only to realize upon arriving that I didn't have my shoes! Argh! Uck! So I could have totally had some loaf cake--enough to share with lots of people!--but I failed. I was sad to say the least. I ended up taking a detour to Trader Joe's and picking up some stuff. Roasted Red Pepper Humus? Better than what I imagine sex to be like. Roasted red pepper humus (I don't know why I referred to it as a proper noun previously, but whatever) and spinach tortillas--don't even get me started.
I went back to Gramercy to grab my damn shoes and unloaded my groceries. I got to Palladium and had a very intense workout. I hadn't planned on being there too long since I didn't get a whole lot of sleep and was tired, but man, I pumped out a good workout. I did a good hour on the treadmill and gave a half-hearted effort on the elipitical for a little while. I was so so so sweaty, and with my newly growing-in armpit hair, I probably smelled a bit funky.
In any case, I watched some guys play basketball and get angry at each other for fouling each other or something. I don't know.
I got back to Gramercy and inhaled my food and opened a package I got from my family. I got some mochi-banana bread and a cornucopia of beef jerky and rice crackers with some candy. Diabetes seems to run through my family, but I can always rely on my mom to send me brown sugar and honey jerky with high-sugar candy. Mmmm.
I pretty much just hung around in Alexis' room for a while and when I tried to get reading done, I ended up getting distracted and calling Catherine and my family for a couple of hours. I had to sit outside since I somehow lost reception in the lounge. Hella dumb. I'm sure I might be suffering from a slight case of the black-lung because of all the second-hand smoke that was dick-slapping me in the face. I was even asked for a lighter and the time while I was out there. What do I look like? A nice person? No.
But that was cool; I went back to Alexis' with an Arnold Palmer in hand and watched Samurai Girl--one of the things I was most excited for. It wasn't as unintentionally funny as I had hoped, but it was still a grand time. I missed the first hour, but the story was easy enough to piece together. Heaven (named for her falling out of the sky), gave a good descriptive summary as to why she is training to be a Samurai Girl: "My brother was killed because ninjas attacked my wedding." So there you have it; the basic premise of Samurai Girl.
We went on to watch The Soup (which had a knee-slappingly funny clip of the new 90210 show--I'll post a link once it's online. I was close to tears laughing at it.) and Chelsea Handler.
I hung around and watched a youtube video of Zac Efron singing Bet On It. It was probably one of the gayest dumbest things I've ever seen, complete with effeminate running, out-of-place pirouettes, pond-punching, and sand-throwing.
We watched our favorite Free Jenna ad with Rainn Wilson where BJ asks Rainn for some help with his stand-up and offers to pay Rainn for some jokes. Rainn says "Horse walks into a bar. Bartender asks, 'Why the long face?'...and the horse says.....'BONE CANCER'" It's hilarious, despite this dry rendition of it.
Well, apparently it's already started to become a torrential rainstorm that will undoubtedly flood all the sinners away from NYC.
Ay. Washington weather, I miss you.
Farewell,
Patricia Wong
*Living in the End-OAR
I awkwardly took a seat by myself, despite (surprisingly) knowing a lot of people in Dean's Circle. We took a look at the pseudo-syllabus as Bob Wallace walked us through the community service, reading, and research projects we'd be doing throughout the year. I was immediately disappointed that our year's Dean's Circle group would again be going to London because of our studying of Darwin. Ay.
After hearing about what Dean's Circle would get to do though, I became much less disappointed. Kind of like that feeling when you reach into a dirty pair of jeans on laundry day and find a twenty dollar bill. I mean, you know you aren't really richer (unless they're not your jeans), but it feels good anyways (that's what she said...?). I came to the conclusion that I shouldn't be a whiny little bitch. Really, paying a 300 dollar deposit is totally worth it for a year's worth of free seminars, food, speeches, outtings, and a trip to London for a week. I mean, it's a pretty great deal, and the people in Dean's Circle seem pretty ballin'. I really want to design a cool design for our attire--bringing back my old high school spirit.
My only pickle I'm in is that Dean's Circle conflicts with my plans to study abroad in Prague. I'm not sure what to do. I guess I could always go with my sure-fire solution of sleeping with the faculty, but I've been so tired lately; all I could do is probably just lay there, and that's no fun.
Anyways, I wanted to take a whole plate of the leftover loaf cakes, but I planned on going straight to the gym after Dean's Circle only to realize upon arriving that I didn't have my shoes! Argh! Uck! So I could have totally had some loaf cake--enough to share with lots of people!--but I failed. I was sad to say the least. I ended up taking a detour to Trader Joe's and picking up some stuff. Roasted Red Pepper Humus? Better than what I imagine sex to be like. Roasted red pepper humus (I don't know why I referred to it as a proper noun previously, but whatever) and spinach tortillas--don't even get me started.
I went back to Gramercy to grab my damn shoes and unloaded my groceries. I got to Palladium and had a very intense workout. I hadn't planned on being there too long since I didn't get a whole lot of sleep and was tired, but man, I pumped out a good workout. I did a good hour on the treadmill and gave a half-hearted effort on the elipitical for a little while. I was so so so sweaty, and with my newly growing-in armpit hair, I probably smelled a bit funky.
In any case, I watched some guys play basketball and get angry at each other for fouling each other or something. I don't know.
I got back to Gramercy and inhaled my food and opened a package I got from my family. I got some mochi-banana bread and a cornucopia of beef jerky and rice crackers with some candy. Diabetes seems to run through my family, but I can always rely on my mom to send me brown sugar and honey jerky with high-sugar candy. Mmmm.
I pretty much just hung around in Alexis' room for a while and when I tried to get reading done, I ended up getting distracted and calling Catherine and my family for a couple of hours. I had to sit outside since I somehow lost reception in the lounge. Hella dumb. I'm sure I might be suffering from a slight case of the black-lung because of all the second-hand smoke that was dick-slapping me in the face. I was even asked for a lighter and the time while I was out there. What do I look like? A nice person? No.
But that was cool; I went back to Alexis' with an Arnold Palmer in hand and watched Samurai Girl--one of the things I was most excited for. It wasn't as unintentionally funny as I had hoped, but it was still a grand time. I missed the first hour, but the story was easy enough to piece together. Heaven (named for her falling out of the sky), gave a good descriptive summary as to why she is training to be a Samurai Girl: "My brother was killed because ninjas attacked my wedding." So there you have it; the basic premise of Samurai Girl.
We went on to watch The Soup (which had a knee-slappingly funny clip of the new 90210 show--I'll post a link once it's online. I was close to tears laughing at it.) and Chelsea Handler.
I hung around and watched a youtube video of Zac Efron singing Bet On It. It was probably one of the gayest dumbest things I've ever seen, complete with effeminate running, out-of-place pirouettes, pond-punching, and sand-throwing.
We watched our favorite Free Jenna ad with Rainn Wilson where BJ asks Rainn for some help with his stand-up and offers to pay Rainn for some jokes. Rainn says "Horse walks into a bar. Bartender asks, 'Why the long face?'...and the horse says.....'BONE CANCER'" It's hilarious, despite this dry rendition of it.
Well, apparently it's already started to become a torrential rainstorm that will undoubtedly flood all the sinners away from NYC.
Ay. Washington weather, I miss you.
Farewell,
Patricia Wong
*Living in the End-OAR
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Lose the Sheets, There's No Time for Sleep
Whew! Today has been a very long day. Let's see, I stayed up extra late writing my last post to this blog, so I hope you all sincerely read this and enjoy it. Well, it's pretty therapeutic for me as well, but whatever. LOVE ME.
Anywho, I rode a very crowded bus with Alexis from Gramercy to Broadway for our Journalism lecture. Boyhowdy, it was already starting to get super hot even before noon. What's the phrase?--I was sweatier than a whore in church? Or something. I was just really sweaty and gross this whole day and it started on the walk from the bus stop to Tisch Hall.
Although I don't really mind, I like to make a big dramatic deal like I do. My recitation leader of course has us sit in the very front of the lecture, which is almost better I guess. I mean, when I actually want to say something during lecture, Professor Stevens could actually hear me. I have yet to say a word in fear of being teased, and we know how sensitive I am. One tease thrown my way, and I'm sure to fashion the loose threads on my backpack into a vinyl-y noose and try to hang myself. That's right. You'd all feel SO bad. Not really, I'm just way too tired and sometimes nervous of public humiliation to say something during lecture. I guess I really shouldn't be that afraid. What's the worst that can happen? People (including students and faculty) laughing at me? Me flushing from embarassment? Laughing out of nervousness and expelling small amounts of urine while in the process? Who knows? Maybe I'll find out one of these lectures.
Speaking of urine; I really had to pee during class and of course, because of my waiting for free Honest Tea outside of Gould Plaza, I got a really crappy seat by the time I got to class. And I didn't even get any Honest Tea! DUMB. Well, I had to pee during lecture, but I really didn't want to be that one person that gets up in the middle of my row, disrputing my peers as well as just straight-up getting up during lecture. You know what I mean? It's like a spotlight on a mega-straightlaced-priest as a strip-club. A super gay strip club. Okay, let's make the priest a rabbi and the gay strip club an anti-semitic gay sex club. That's how bad it would be--comparable to being called out as a prudish rabbi at a gay-antisemitic-sex-club. It would be bad.
So I held my pee for quite a while. hehe, I almost wrote "...held my pea". Can you imagine? Me sitting in class holding a pea and being all worried about it? I'm ridiculous.
In any case, I was able to think about other things and with enough leg-shakingness to distract me, I was able to hold it until I went to Kimmel to relieve myself.
Of course, me being the smart young man I am, I decided to sit on the outside terraces. I made sure to check which terrace to use; the one on the right was oddly saturated with students eating lunch, but the one of the left was almost completely empty. The reason became clear when I went out to the left terrace and sat down at my usual spot whereI people watch (and make up dialogue for the people walking through WSP. Like saying these two guys who are clearly straight bros, gay, or this old lady and younger girl being a lecherous pedophile and seductive youngster respectively). However, I failed to realize that the left terrace was so empty because the aluminum tables magnified the sunlight (that was appropriately only hitting the left side of Kimmel) a million-fold.
This was one of my dumber moments, but I sat down with such conviction in front of other students, in a clearly horrible spot, that I felt that I shouldn't get up immediately and admit defeat. So I pulled out a packet of reading and pretended to read, but really I was just squinting really hard and trying to think how badly my corneas were being burned every second I was exposed to the fiery death rays refracting from the oddly over-metallic tables. The sunlight also were making me sweat a lot and I had yet to fill my water bottle. It was horrible. It was like being in a desert without water and dignity...but worse.
I finally swallowed my pride and got up and went up to the seventh floor to read more of my material. Of course, the 7th floor computers were working the day that I didn't actually need them. Ugh. Life! So I sat a table and read, and realized I had again made a horrible decision in my seating choice for I sat across the way from a table stocked full of Asians getting ready for Clubfest. Constant Family Guy references, superbly nerdy laughs, cutting of posters with supposed-safety-scissors, and awkward fragmented Chinese phrases littered the airspace and I found it so hard to read, but again, I felt that it would super mean for me to get up, for I would clearly be dissing them if I got up right when I sat down, so I sucked it up again and actually got to a good reading mood. But man, it was like being in Chinese-American-Boater-FoB-Chinatown. It was pretty ridiculous. I'm not trying to be racist. I mean, I'm Chinese-American...I'm just not annoying like they were. Sorry, that's really mean, but man, I really have to vent that they were just down-right annoying. And not cutesy-unintentional annoying, but just unadulterated, unfiltered annoying. If I had a annoyance machine, it would've gone off the charts and exploded, giving me a concussion that I'm sure I would've been grateful for, so I wouldn't have to listen to them and giving me an excuse to not go to class. Sigh. Sorry, that was really long and really mean. I feel bad saying it, but that's what blogs are for, right? Sorry again!
I ran into Kasey and we reminisced on the lovely city of Seattle and the WASL. It was quite wonderful and I headed to Mercer for my Policing Same Sex Desire class and realized I forgot my headphones! My Creative was sitting in my backpack nakedly resting in its pocket ready for me to fondle and use. But without headphones, it was like getting into bed with the hottie of your dreams, but taking off your pants and being like "WHERE DID MY PENIS GO?!" and then remembering that you left it plugged into your laptop back at your dorm.
So I ended walking to Mercer musicless and sexless. We looked at a lot of ancient Greek porn. Ms. Ames would be proud, as we talked about the Hellenistic period and I totally could recognize them! But yeah, we talked a lot about Greek relationships between older men and younger boys and lesbian relationships. Super interesting.
I then went to have lunch with Glenn and Alexis at Upstein where we ran into Andrew and Ritu. I listened in on their conversation about Palin and then Alexis, Glenn, and I went to WSP where we had a conversation next to a shirtless homeless man. It was romantic in a way. But more awkward and distracting. We decided to ditch the shirtless man (who was now looking for his dog and reading a space magazine) and went to Kimmel to get some Yolato. It was delicious.
Glenn departed and me and Alexis went to Coles for Clubfest; we each had booths to run. Goodness, walking in, I swore it was like walking into a sauna, except everyone had clothes on, but were still just as sweaty as you'd imagine at a sauna. It was ridiculous. I had to walk through small seas of people, occasionally being groped and molested by Asian frats. I finally found the Baedeker booth and sat with Lyndsey and Leslie. I have to say I'm a good salesman; I got hellsa people to sign up for the Baedeker list-serve. And apparently I'm Secretary of Baedeker now? Who knows! I met a guy from Macedonia--that was really cool! I'm not sure why, because he wasn't like a Roman warrior, but whatever--I was impressed nonetheless.
After about two hours of sweating, I cleaned up and went back to Gramercy with Alexis. I departed right after to go to the gym, where I worked out slightly with a Black guy. I'm not sure why I'm so preoccupied with race, but it was a first for me. I got some food from Pallads, and ate with Claire, Teresa, Carissa, and Alexis and we went to our RA, Ramil's room. We were the first there and got to sit in chairs while everyone else had to sit on the floor. Suckas! Our ice-breaker was a contest; the three people with the most interesting facts about themselves won coupons to Pink Berry. It was great, for needless to say, I won one. Yeah boy!
I reused my armpit hair-growing tidbit and I guess that pushed me into the top three spots. I don't think I really deserved it, but I'll take it. The other two winners were a girl who was adopted; her mom is Chinese, her dad is...Hispanic I wanna say...and her brother is Guatemalan. The other was a girl whose house blew-up when she was two. Crazy stuff!
I sat with the girls after the RA meeting and laughed at them for a while. While filling out the roommate forms, Teresa had to fill-out the section about hygiene and actually asked Carissa how often she bathes. "Daily...or weekly?" Carissa responded with a sarcastic glare, asking "how long have we lived together ??" and said "No Teresa, I like to go into the bathroom every morning for twenty minutes and turn on the shower...and read" It was hilarious.
Well, that's about it.
Ballin'ly,
Paddy
*Carolina Liar--Beautiful World
Anywho, I rode a very crowded bus with Alexis from Gramercy to Broadway for our Journalism lecture. Boyhowdy, it was already starting to get super hot even before noon. What's the phrase?--I was sweatier than a whore in church? Or something. I was just really sweaty and gross this whole day and it started on the walk from the bus stop to Tisch Hall.
Although I don't really mind, I like to make a big dramatic deal like I do. My recitation leader of course has us sit in the very front of the lecture, which is almost better I guess. I mean, when I actually want to say something during lecture, Professor Stevens could actually hear me. I have yet to say a word in fear of being teased, and we know how sensitive I am. One tease thrown my way, and I'm sure to fashion the loose threads on my backpack into a vinyl-y noose and try to hang myself. That's right. You'd all feel SO bad. Not really, I'm just way too tired and sometimes nervous of public humiliation to say something during lecture. I guess I really shouldn't be that afraid. What's the worst that can happen? People (including students and faculty) laughing at me? Me flushing from embarassment? Laughing out of nervousness and expelling small amounts of urine while in the process? Who knows? Maybe I'll find out one of these lectures.
Speaking of urine; I really had to pee during class and of course, because of my waiting for free Honest Tea outside of Gould Plaza, I got a really crappy seat by the time I got to class. And I didn't even get any Honest Tea! DUMB. Well, I had to pee during lecture, but I really didn't want to be that one person that gets up in the middle of my row, disrputing my peers as well as just straight-up getting up during lecture. You know what I mean? It's like a spotlight on a mega-straightlaced-priest as a strip-club. A super gay strip club. Okay, let's make the priest a rabbi and the gay strip club an anti-semitic gay sex club. That's how bad it would be--comparable to being called out as a prudish rabbi at a gay-antisemitic-sex-club. It would be bad.
So I held my pee for quite a while. hehe, I almost wrote "...held my pea". Can you imagine? Me sitting in class holding a pea and being all worried about it? I'm ridiculous.
In any case, I was able to think about other things and with enough leg-shakingness to distract me, I was able to hold it until I went to Kimmel to relieve myself.
Of course, me being the smart young man I am, I decided to sit on the outside terraces. I made sure to check which terrace to use; the one on the right was oddly saturated with students eating lunch, but the one of the left was almost completely empty. The reason became clear when I went out to the left terrace and sat down at my usual spot whereI people watch (and make up dialogue for the people walking through WSP. Like saying these two guys who are clearly straight bros, gay, or this old lady and younger girl being a lecherous pedophile and seductive youngster respectively). However, I failed to realize that the left terrace was so empty because the aluminum tables magnified the sunlight (that was appropriately only hitting the left side of Kimmel) a million-fold.
This was one of my dumber moments, but I sat down with such conviction in front of other students, in a clearly horrible spot, that I felt that I shouldn't get up immediately and admit defeat. So I pulled out a packet of reading and pretended to read, but really I was just squinting really hard and trying to think how badly my corneas were being burned every second I was exposed to the fiery death rays refracting from the oddly over-metallic tables. The sunlight also were making me sweat a lot and I had yet to fill my water bottle. It was horrible. It was like being in a desert without water and dignity...but worse.
I finally swallowed my pride and got up and went up to the seventh floor to read more of my material. Of course, the 7th floor computers were working the day that I didn't actually need them. Ugh. Life! So I sat a table and read, and realized I had again made a horrible decision in my seating choice for I sat across the way from a table stocked full of Asians getting ready for Clubfest. Constant Family Guy references, superbly nerdy laughs, cutting of posters with supposed-safety-scissors, and awkward fragmented Chinese phrases littered the airspace and I found it so hard to read, but again, I felt that it would super mean for me to get up, for I would clearly be dissing them if I got up right when I sat down, so I sucked it up again and actually got to a good reading mood. But man, it was like being in Chinese-American-Boater-FoB-Chinatown. It was pretty ridiculous. I'm not trying to be racist. I mean, I'm Chinese-American...I'm just not annoying like they were. Sorry, that's really mean, but man, I really have to vent that they were just down-right annoying. And not cutesy-unintentional annoying, but just unadulterated, unfiltered annoying. If I had a annoyance machine, it would've gone off the charts and exploded, giving me a concussion that I'm sure I would've been grateful for, so I wouldn't have to listen to them and giving me an excuse to not go to class. Sigh. Sorry, that was really long and really mean. I feel bad saying it, but that's what blogs are for, right? Sorry again!
I ran into Kasey and we reminisced on the lovely city of Seattle and the WASL. It was quite wonderful and I headed to Mercer for my Policing Same Sex Desire class and realized I forgot my headphones! My Creative was sitting in my backpack nakedly resting in its pocket ready for me to fondle and use. But without headphones, it was like getting into bed with the hottie of your dreams, but taking off your pants and being like "WHERE DID MY PENIS GO?!" and then remembering that you left it plugged into your laptop back at your dorm.
So I ended walking to Mercer musicless and sexless. We looked at a lot of ancient Greek porn. Ms. Ames would be proud, as we talked about the Hellenistic period and I totally could recognize them! But yeah, we talked a lot about Greek relationships between older men and younger boys and lesbian relationships. Super interesting.
I then went to have lunch with Glenn and Alexis at Upstein where we ran into Andrew and Ritu. I listened in on their conversation about Palin and then Alexis, Glenn, and I went to WSP where we had a conversation next to a shirtless homeless man. It was romantic in a way. But more awkward and distracting. We decided to ditch the shirtless man (who was now looking for his dog and reading a space magazine) and went to Kimmel to get some Yolato. It was delicious.
Glenn departed and me and Alexis went to Coles for Clubfest; we each had booths to run. Goodness, walking in, I swore it was like walking into a sauna, except everyone had clothes on, but were still just as sweaty as you'd imagine at a sauna. It was ridiculous. I had to walk through small seas of people, occasionally being groped and molested by Asian frats. I finally found the Baedeker booth and sat with Lyndsey and Leslie. I have to say I'm a good salesman; I got hellsa people to sign up for the Baedeker list-serve. And apparently I'm Secretary of Baedeker now? Who knows! I met a guy from Macedonia--that was really cool! I'm not sure why, because he wasn't like a Roman warrior, but whatever--I was impressed nonetheless.
After about two hours of sweating, I cleaned up and went back to Gramercy with Alexis. I departed right after to go to the gym, where I worked out slightly with a Black guy. I'm not sure why I'm so preoccupied with race, but it was a first for me. I got some food from Pallads, and ate with Claire, Teresa, Carissa, and Alexis and we went to our RA, Ramil's room. We were the first there and got to sit in chairs while everyone else had to sit on the floor. Suckas! Our ice-breaker was a contest; the three people with the most interesting facts about themselves won coupons to Pink Berry. It was great, for needless to say, I won one. Yeah boy!
I reused my armpit hair-growing tidbit and I guess that pushed me into the top three spots. I don't think I really deserved it, but I'll take it. The other two winners were a girl who was adopted; her mom is Chinese, her dad is...Hispanic I wanna say...and her brother is Guatemalan. The other was a girl whose house blew-up when she was two. Crazy stuff!
I sat with the girls after the RA meeting and laughed at them for a while. While filling out the roommate forms, Teresa had to fill-out the section about hygiene and actually asked Carissa how often she bathes. "Daily...or weekly?" Carissa responded with a sarcastic glare, asking "how long have we lived together ??" and said "No Teresa, I like to go into the bathroom every morning for twenty minutes and turn on the shower...and read" It was hilarious.
Well, that's about it.
Ballin'ly,
Paddy
*Carolina Liar--Beautiful World
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Sunbeam, Stop Tugging Me
Taxis suck. I almost got hit twice today by the yellow speed-demons. I was walking back from the gym and was doing the routine NY-J-walk. I did the responsible thing and saw that the taxi from the incoming traffic was turning...or so I thought! That tricky bitch-cab had it's left blinker on but drove straight for me like a newborn baby ready to slip from a loosey-goosey vag. It was horrible. The driver even had the decency to step on his screechy breaks and stared me down like I was whore that he wanted to sleep with, but then when he got close enough, found that I was much uglier.
The second encounter was mostly my fault. I was being a lemming and followed this mass of people across the crosswalk and the taxi driver I guess was way impatient and honked at me. So either I was walking too slow, or he thought I was hot. I'm gonna say it was a hybrid of both, and say that he was honking at me because I'm so freakin' fine that he wanted me to slow my walking speed so he could more better drink me in.
Anyways. What happened today? I woke up, became a hot sweaty mess at the gym and ventured to class...but not without taking a detour to Upstein for a delicious yogurt parfait. I brought it with me to wait for my next class at Silver. I decided I was in an awkward mood and despite all the room in the hallway, I decided to sit in a corner with a nicely dressed young man with dark-rimmed glasses. I took out my parfait and noisily ate my granola and yogurt. I got some sideway glances from the guy as he buried his nose in his book, kinda saying "ugh, do you HAVE to eat that now?". But I gave him a furtive glance and stopped chewing, feeling bad. I contemplated waiting to eat the rest of the parfait and putting it away. But that thought only lasted a moment and I continued to eye him occasionally while shoveling the dairy goodness into my mouth.
Finally class started and I had a nice conversation with this girl about the first day of classes. Class started and during the ice breaker, I explained that I had finally started growing armpit hair. That's right. Armpit hair--one step closer to true manhood and more obnoxious b.o. Professor Newman is pretty badass; I can't wait to explore Brooklyn some more and possibly meet Matisyahu?! Damn, that's pretty ballin'. Anywho, Brooklyn class was fine and dandy.
I ventured to Mercer for History of the Universe and Professor Harbi turned out to be really cool as well. It was a good class, although I'm not sure how comfortable I am with the fact that I may be totally raped by the physics and mathematical stuff that is going to be going on in that class.
I met with Alexis and went to Third North to printout our new Journalism reading assignments, which included this ridiculous 124 page document about Ben Franklin. I know he was important and all, but really, how much do I really need to know about him. When someone writes a biography about me, it better be as least triple the length and be embossed with gold and diamonds--white diamonds to be exact. I felt so bad using so much paper. I'm pretty sure I have the corpses of like a bajillion trees in my backpack right now. I bet there's a mommy-tree out there looking for me, ready to beat my ass. Although, if a tree had a bajillion tree-babies, I could argue that that mommy-tree is a no-good skanky-ass ho and doesn't have the right to call me out for being a murderer, when I wasn't the slut that was spreading my roots for any stud-tree with big branches and birthing babies all the time. But who knows. I'm not going to judge.
Anways, me and Alexis got some food from Palladium and had a nice quaint dinner back in her room with an episode of Friends.
Of course, shortly after we had yet another firedrill. I swear. It's like herpes. It's always around, and you kind of forget about it, until BAM. Firedrill and genital warts! It really sucks (the drills and the herpes). I'm so glad I live on the third floor and don't have to hike all the way down to the lobby. I bet the firefighters hate us. I know I would.
I decided that I'm probably going to be a floor representative for Gramercy Hall Council...although I don't have much of a choice since I'm going abroad and am not allowed to apply for anything else.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention my encounter with slow walkers on the sidewalks. I mean come on; we're in NYC, you gotta walk at a good pace. So I was walking to campus for class and of course, I end up behind this really slow walking lady. I'm like 'damn, girl, you got two legs--use 'em!' I mean, I really had no reason to be angry since I was actually really early for class, but whatever--I like to act like I'm in a hurry and am important enough to be in a rush for somewhere.
After walking behind her for a while on the narrow sidewalk, I kicked out her walker and pushed her down and took a dominating stride over her frail 80-year-old body and peaced out. I was then FINALLY able to walk on at a fast pace to class.
Well, sorry this post is not that interesting; it's late.
G'night!
-Pee Diddy.
*Frou Frou-Shh
The second encounter was mostly my fault. I was being a lemming and followed this mass of people across the crosswalk and the taxi driver I guess was way impatient and honked at me. So either I was walking too slow, or he thought I was hot. I'm gonna say it was a hybrid of both, and say that he was honking at me because I'm so freakin' fine that he wanted me to slow my walking speed so he could more better drink me in.
Anyways. What happened today? I woke up, became a hot sweaty mess at the gym and ventured to class...but not without taking a detour to Upstein for a delicious yogurt parfait. I brought it with me to wait for my next class at Silver. I decided I was in an awkward mood and despite all the room in the hallway, I decided to sit in a corner with a nicely dressed young man with dark-rimmed glasses. I took out my parfait and noisily ate my granola and yogurt. I got some sideway glances from the guy as he buried his nose in his book, kinda saying "ugh, do you HAVE to eat that now?". But I gave him a furtive glance and stopped chewing, feeling bad. I contemplated waiting to eat the rest of the parfait and putting it away. But that thought only lasted a moment and I continued to eye him occasionally while shoveling the dairy goodness into my mouth.
Finally class started and I had a nice conversation with this girl about the first day of classes. Class started and during the ice breaker, I explained that I had finally started growing armpit hair. That's right. Armpit hair--one step closer to true manhood and more obnoxious b.o. Professor Newman is pretty badass; I can't wait to explore Brooklyn some more and possibly meet Matisyahu?! Damn, that's pretty ballin'. Anywho, Brooklyn class was fine and dandy.
I ventured to Mercer for History of the Universe and Professor Harbi turned out to be really cool as well. It was a good class, although I'm not sure how comfortable I am with the fact that I may be totally raped by the physics and mathematical stuff that is going to be going on in that class.
I met with Alexis and went to Third North to printout our new Journalism reading assignments, which included this ridiculous 124 page document about Ben Franklin. I know he was important and all, but really, how much do I really need to know about him. When someone writes a biography about me, it better be as least triple the length and be embossed with gold and diamonds--white diamonds to be exact. I felt so bad using so much paper. I'm pretty sure I have the corpses of like a bajillion trees in my backpack right now. I bet there's a mommy-tree out there looking for me, ready to beat my ass. Although, if a tree had a bajillion tree-babies, I could argue that that mommy-tree is a no-good skanky-ass ho and doesn't have the right to call me out for being a murderer, when I wasn't the slut that was spreading my roots for any stud-tree with big branches and birthing babies all the time. But who knows. I'm not going to judge.
Anways, me and Alexis got some food from Palladium and had a nice quaint dinner back in her room with an episode of Friends.
Of course, shortly after we had yet another firedrill. I swear. It's like herpes. It's always around, and you kind of forget about it, until BAM. Firedrill and genital warts! It really sucks (the drills and the herpes). I'm so glad I live on the third floor and don't have to hike all the way down to the lobby. I bet the firefighters hate us. I know I would.
I decided that I'm probably going to be a floor representative for Gramercy Hall Council...although I don't have much of a choice since I'm going abroad and am not allowed to apply for anything else.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention my encounter with slow walkers on the sidewalks. I mean come on; we're in NYC, you gotta walk at a good pace. So I was walking to campus for class and of course, I end up behind this really slow walking lady. I'm like 'damn, girl, you got two legs--use 'em!' I mean, I really had no reason to be angry since I was actually really early for class, but whatever--I like to act like I'm in a hurry and am important enough to be in a rush for somewhere.
After walking behind her for a while on the narrow sidewalk, I kicked out her walker and pushed her down and took a dominating stride over her frail 80-year-old body and peaced out. I was then FINALLY able to walk on at a fast pace to class.
Well, sorry this post is not that interesting; it's late.
G'night!
-Pee Diddy.
*Frou Frou-Shh
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
I'm Feeling Fine, You're Feeling the Same
That's what now, like eight firedrills? What the eff. Gramercy is turning out to be much more of a hassle than I had expected. We already have to deal with the 20-25 minute+ walk to campus and now firedrills every other day?? God. I mean, we already have hardwood floors, new unused beds, stainless steel appliances, and air conditioning. My life freakin' sucks. Everyone has a good life but me. Sigh.
Other than this day being the two day anniversary of what is soon to be a horrid-Herpes-like-aggressive STI-like-Gramercy Green tradition, firedrills aren't the only things that have been adding some spice and genital warts to my life. Classes started today! Not to say that class will give me genital warts or other STIs, but if you paid attention to my previous post, all the unprotected sex I'll be having with my faculty may very well pass-on to me some crotch-gifts.
Anyways, I really enjoyed classes today! Despite having an 8AM recitation and it having the first-day awkward silence and stare-ingness that first days of classes tend to have, my recitation leader was/is really awesome. She's been smuggled into Sudan, Uganda, and Cuba and other places like human contraband and has written some very amazing pieces of journalistic work. She owns like two PR firms or something, was a cop, and has two degrees--one in Criminal Justice and one in Sociology as well as a Masters in Journalism. All in all, she's a nice, super accomplished lady. It's pretty boss having someone like her as my recitation leader.
My only problem with the recitation was the obligatory first-day ice-breakers. We had to introduce ourselves in the classic inverted-pyramid-journalistic style, revealing the most important details of our lives then to the most general/least important. I was caught way off guard and wasn't really sure what to say...I mean, I'm a rockin' person--how is any detail about my life any less interesting than the last?
So of course, I took the logical step and started chronologically. I was pushed through my mom's vagina, which I imagine was a bittersweet experience. My passing through her birth canal, to my mom's pain and chagrin probably was canceled out by the joy of her first son being born. So that's cool. I skipped around after that, saying that I was diagnosed with this weird blood condition where blood vessels cluster in my left leg and form masses that burst randomly. I told them about how I thought when I was five or six, I thought I was perpetually wetting the bed because my blood masses would pop and bleed all over my bed. I'd be like "goddmanit! I peed this ho-bitch-ass bed again!" (because I was a potty-mouth when I was younger) and then I'd be turn on the lights and be like "shieet, this is blood!" and then I'd wish that I really did have a bladder problem that caused me to wet the bed instead of my leg randomly bursting into a blood volcano. Needless to say, I went on to explain that I had surgery twice because of it. I mentioned the fact that if I had been old enough to know what a period was, but young enough to be confused by the female anatomy, I'd probably think I was just having massive periods all the time. I mean, I had two period-having sisters. Who knows, maybe I could've been a very mislead kid who thought he had random explosive-diarrheaesque periods.
I know what you're thinking. Did I really explain this ordeal in my life so vividly and with so much detail to my class? NO.
I explained with much much much more descriptive adverbs and showy adjectives.
And then I went on to explain my interest in journalism and why I'm taking the class and that I'm from Seattle (to my delight, a guy from my recitation is from Tacoma--woo!).
We also watched a PBS clip of how to write leads and such with some softcore-porny music. That was pretty sweet, too.
After my recitation, I realized I had these awkward 90 minute gaps between my classes. Not long enough for me to walk twenty minutes back to my dorm and the twenty minutes back to campus, but not short enough for me to take a leisurely promenade to my next class. I ascertained that these short breaks would serve as mini-homework sessions. Or possibly, power nap sessions? Well, probably not the latter, because I don't like sleeping in public. I tried it once, but apparently sleeping in my comfortable way (nakedly) is not publicly or socially acceptable.
So I went to Kimmel and read/contemplated what I wanted to eat for a snack. I ended up finishing my reading and getting a Kashi protein bar, which I rationed for my long day ahead of me.
I met Alexis in front of the Tisch building for the Journalism lecture, and had to sit with my recitation group when I got there. Prof. Mitch Stevens is awesome--very funny and very bald. Kind of Mr. Borba-y. This class will be a 'back-breaker' as my recitation leader would say, but I'm sure I'll learn a lot from it. Or at least that's what I'll be telling myself when I'm crying over my laptop after not having eaten for three days because of the essays and reading we have.
After that, I ran into Sarah, Amanda, and Claire at Upstein and nostalgically grabbed for a blueberry yogurt parfait. That stuff is effing delicious. I gladly ate my snack and awkwardly waved at people I know that filtered through the eating area. This girl unintentionally stole Sarah's chair, so we left.
I ended up back at Kimmel to kill some time before my next class. I couldn't remember where it was and wanted to use one of the computers to check my schedule but of course all the second floor computers were being used. So I ventured to the seventh floor where all the computers were locked. God. See how much my life sucks?
So I ended up just trying to remember where my class was and taking a chance about where it was. I'm a risk-taker.
I went to the bookstore and ran into Leslie and walked with her through WSP back to Kimmel where I peed and walked to my next class.
This was probably one of my favorite classes thus far--Policing Same Sex Desires. It was super interesting and when we got to the talk about lesbians, I turned to Glenn and said "HEY LESBO!" and we cracked up laughing. It was terrific and totally appropriate. And then our professor said his partner and other cool GLBTQQTSI writers would come talk to us. So sounds super interesting. In fact, I just finished reading a section of Lesbian Outlaw. Super cool.
Anyways, it's like 1AM and luckily I don't have class until 2PM. It's super exciting, because I've never had a class at 2PM, or at least had a class at 2PM that starts my academic day. Pretty snazzy.
Wow, this post turned out to be way longer than I thought. Why did you read all the way to down here? Do you really care about what happens in my life? Okay. Cool.
All the best,
Pee Wong
*The Virgins--Radio Christiane
Other than this day being the two day anniversary of what is soon to be a horrid-Herpes-like-aggressive STI-like-Gramercy Green tradition, firedrills aren't the only things that have been adding some spice and genital warts to my life. Classes started today! Not to say that class will give me genital warts or other STIs, but if you paid attention to my previous post, all the unprotected sex I'll be having with my faculty may very well pass-on to me some crotch-gifts.
Anyways, I really enjoyed classes today! Despite having an 8AM recitation and it having the first-day awkward silence and stare-ingness that first days of classes tend to have, my recitation leader was/is really awesome. She's been smuggled into Sudan, Uganda, and Cuba and other places like human contraband and has written some very amazing pieces of journalistic work. She owns like two PR firms or something, was a cop, and has two degrees--one in Criminal Justice and one in Sociology as well as a Masters in Journalism. All in all, she's a nice, super accomplished lady. It's pretty boss having someone like her as my recitation leader.
My only problem with the recitation was the obligatory first-day ice-breakers. We had to introduce ourselves in the classic inverted-pyramid-journalistic style, revealing the most important details of our lives then to the most general/least important. I was caught way off guard and wasn't really sure what to say...I mean, I'm a rockin' person--how is any detail about my life any less interesting than the last?
So of course, I took the logical step and started chronologically. I was pushed through my mom's vagina, which I imagine was a bittersweet experience. My passing through her birth canal, to my mom's pain and chagrin probably was canceled out by the joy of her first son being born. So that's cool. I skipped around after that, saying that I was diagnosed with this weird blood condition where blood vessels cluster in my left leg and form masses that burst randomly. I told them about how I thought when I was five or six, I thought I was perpetually wetting the bed because my blood masses would pop and bleed all over my bed. I'd be like "goddmanit! I peed this ho-bitch-ass bed again!" (because I was a potty-mouth when I was younger) and then I'd be turn on the lights and be like "shieet, this is blood!" and then I'd wish that I really did have a bladder problem that caused me to wet the bed instead of my leg randomly bursting into a blood volcano. Needless to say, I went on to explain that I had surgery twice because of it. I mentioned the fact that if I had been old enough to know what a period was, but young enough to be confused by the female anatomy, I'd probably think I was just having massive periods all the time. I mean, I had two period-having sisters. Who knows, maybe I could've been a very mislead kid who thought he had random explosive-diarrheaesque periods.
I know what you're thinking. Did I really explain this ordeal in my life so vividly and with so much detail to my class? NO.
I explained with much much much more descriptive adverbs and showy adjectives.
And then I went on to explain my interest in journalism and why I'm taking the class and that I'm from Seattle (to my delight, a guy from my recitation is from Tacoma--woo!).
We also watched a PBS clip of how to write leads and such with some softcore-porny music. That was pretty sweet, too.
After my recitation, I realized I had these awkward 90 minute gaps between my classes. Not long enough for me to walk twenty minutes back to my dorm and the twenty minutes back to campus, but not short enough for me to take a leisurely promenade to my next class. I ascertained that these short breaks would serve as mini-homework sessions. Or possibly, power nap sessions? Well, probably not the latter, because I don't like sleeping in public. I tried it once, but apparently sleeping in my comfortable way (nakedly) is not publicly or socially acceptable.
So I went to Kimmel and read/contemplated what I wanted to eat for a snack. I ended up finishing my reading and getting a Kashi protein bar, which I rationed for my long day ahead of me.
I met Alexis in front of the Tisch building for the Journalism lecture, and had to sit with my recitation group when I got there. Prof. Mitch Stevens is awesome--very funny and very bald. Kind of Mr. Borba-y. This class will be a 'back-breaker' as my recitation leader would say, but I'm sure I'll learn a lot from it. Or at least that's what I'll be telling myself when I'm crying over my laptop after not having eaten for three days because of the essays and reading we have.
After that, I ran into Sarah, Amanda, and Claire at Upstein and nostalgically grabbed for a blueberry yogurt parfait. That stuff is effing delicious. I gladly ate my snack and awkwardly waved at people I know that filtered through the eating area. This girl unintentionally stole Sarah's chair, so we left.
I ended up back at Kimmel to kill some time before my next class. I couldn't remember where it was and wanted to use one of the computers to check my schedule but of course all the second floor computers were being used. So I ventured to the seventh floor where all the computers were locked. God. See how much my life sucks?
So I ended up just trying to remember where my class was and taking a chance about where it was. I'm a risk-taker.
I went to the bookstore and ran into Leslie and walked with her through WSP back to Kimmel where I peed and walked to my next class.
This was probably one of my favorite classes thus far--Policing Same Sex Desires. It was super interesting and when we got to the talk about lesbians, I turned to Glenn and said "HEY LESBO!" and we cracked up laughing. It was terrific and totally appropriate. And then our professor said his partner and other cool GLBTQQTSI writers would come talk to us. So sounds super interesting. In fact, I just finished reading a section of Lesbian Outlaw. Super cool.
Anyways, it's like 1AM and luckily I don't have class until 2PM. It's super exciting, because I've never had a class at 2PM, or at least had a class at 2PM that starts my academic day. Pretty snazzy.
Wow, this post turned out to be way longer than I thought. Why did you read all the way to down here? Do you really care about what happens in my life? Okay. Cool.
All the best,
Pee Wong
*The Virgins--Radio Christiane
Monday, September 1, 2008
White Lines and Red Lights
I'm not sure just how interesting my blog will be, but hey--if you're reading, you probably like it, right? Whatever. I ain't gon' trip.
So I guess I'm supposed to write my feelings and junk in here, right? Or like update y'all on my life?
Okay, well, I've been in the city for about two weeks now; it's been pretty bitchin'. Most of it at least. I came here to welcome all the freshies back during Welcome Week as (an appropriately named) Welcome Week Leader. I spent many many hours at training, which I'm sorry to say, seemed like a bit of a waste of time. Pretty much, all they needed to tell us was to be fun, nice, sober, and to not harass the new kids. But of course, NYU felt the need to stretch that message for three days.
I of course, ended up being the only guy in my Welcome Week training group, but it's all good. I'm a playa like that. I reached celebrity status when I made a That's What She Said... joke and pretty much everyone fell in love me.
Aside from that, the only really interesting things...or thing really was The Beach Ball AKA awkward 7th grade dance with 18 year olds and chicken fingers. A girl took off her top and the DJ was weird. This supremely white disc-jockey made 'a shout-out to all his Punjabis,' and blasted a techno Indian song. I thought that would be a big flop. But it seems I was wrong, for all the supposed Punjabis seemed to be hiding in the sea of grinding freshmen when they were called by the DJ.
Oh yeah, I also finally took a double-decker bus tour of the city. It was pretty cool. Except the branches were so low on the trees that I got bitched-slapped a few times. It was like I was a misbehaving whore and the tree was a swifthanded pimp. Anyways, my tourguide was a little racist, or ignorant. Or probably just old. He somehow knew a lot of Mandarin and kept prodding me and my Vietnamese friend for Chinese lessons. Needless to say, I was a little offended--but no worries, because he fixed it by telling my Black friend that Asians and Blacks have always been in a battle for minority supremacy. Obviously, I broke it off with said Black friend and I have been stalking her since with machete in hand, waiting for her to turn her back so I can shank that bitch. Thanks tourguide!
But now, school is starting tomorrow and I am definitely a bit nervous. 8AM recitation? Ugh. But oh well, I survived it four days a week last semester, so I guess I can do it twice a week this semester. Maybe I'll just sleep with my recitation leaders and get As for some 'extra credit.' Oh boy, I am naughty.
Oh! And New York news sucks. It's great for a couple of laughs.
Anyways, time for bed.
Thanks for reading and popping my blog post virginity. Don't worry, I wanted it. It wasn't rape.
-Patrick
(btw, the title of my blog posts will probably be the name of the song I'm listening to, or a richly profound lyric from the song, in case you're wondering. I'm not entirely creative enough to have such fantastical post titles about my everyday life.)
*Between the Trees-White Lines and Redlights
So I guess I'm supposed to write my feelings and junk in here, right? Or like update y'all on my life?
Okay, well, I've been in the city for about two weeks now; it's been pretty bitchin'. Most of it at least. I came here to welcome all the freshies back during Welcome Week as (an appropriately named) Welcome Week Leader. I spent many many hours at training, which I'm sorry to say, seemed like a bit of a waste of time. Pretty much, all they needed to tell us was to be fun, nice, sober, and to not harass the new kids. But of course, NYU felt the need to stretch that message for three days.
I of course, ended up being the only guy in my Welcome Week training group, but it's all good. I'm a playa like that. I reached celebrity status when I made a That's What She Said... joke and pretty much everyone fell in love me.
Aside from that, the only really interesting things...or thing really was The Beach Ball AKA awkward 7th grade dance with 18 year olds and chicken fingers. A girl took off her top and the DJ was weird. This supremely white disc-jockey made 'a shout-out to all his Punjabis,' and blasted a techno Indian song. I thought that would be a big flop. But it seems I was wrong, for all the supposed Punjabis seemed to be hiding in the sea of grinding freshmen when they were called by the DJ.
Oh yeah, I also finally took a double-decker bus tour of the city. It was pretty cool. Except the branches were so low on the trees that I got bitched-slapped a few times. It was like I was a misbehaving whore and the tree was a swifthanded pimp. Anyways, my tourguide was a little racist, or ignorant. Or probably just old. He somehow knew a lot of Mandarin and kept prodding me and my Vietnamese friend for Chinese lessons. Needless to say, I was a little offended--but no worries, because he fixed it by telling my Black friend that Asians and Blacks have always been in a battle for minority supremacy. Obviously, I broke it off with said Black friend and I have been stalking her since with machete in hand, waiting for her to turn her back so I can shank that bitch. Thanks tourguide!
But now, school is starting tomorrow and I am definitely a bit nervous. 8AM recitation? Ugh. But oh well, I survived it four days a week last semester, so I guess I can do it twice a week this semester. Maybe I'll just sleep with my recitation leaders and get As for some 'extra credit.' Oh boy, I am naughty.
Oh! And New York news sucks. It's great for a couple of laughs.
Anyways, time for bed.
Thanks for reading and popping my blog post virginity. Don't worry, I wanted it. It wasn't rape.
-Patrick
(btw, the title of my blog posts will probably be the name of the song I'm listening to, or a richly profound lyric from the song, in case you're wondering. I'm not entirely creative enough to have such fantastical post titles about my everyday life.)
*Between the Trees-White Lines and Redlights
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