Anyways, I was inspired to blog because I had to say my first couple REAL goodbyes today. I said my first goodbye to an ex-boss-turned-mentor/friend at one of my internships who I've known for the past couple of years now. Wait, hold up, before I go on, you should know that if you are reading this and don't know why I'm saying goodbyes, you should know that I am moving to San Francisco in July for a job. Now back to the goodbyes. I had a great lunch at Basta Pasta, a restaurant that confused me from the get-go because it's an Italian restaurant but EVERY PERSON that works there is Japanese (Japtalian? Itapanese?) We had a great meal and talked about future plans and San Francisco because said boss used to live there. He assured me I would love San Fran, so let's hope he's right.
I said my second goodbye in Jersey to my amazingly sweet, funny, and weird friend Heidi at her and her sister's graduation party. This is my third party at the Heidi household and it never disappoints. Let me tell you, Heidi's mom makes these balls that I could keep in my mouth forever. Can't get enough of Heidi's mom's balls. I'm drooling just thinking about it. Oh, and Heidi's friend brought over jizz-in-your-pants worthy chocolate chip cookies. Oh my. The stains are never going to come out. And Heidi's peanut butter ice-cream pie. Don't even get me started! It's like Heidi's pie jumped in my mouth and said "shh, don't worry, I'll take care of everything" and rocked the hell out of my world. Heidi's pie...that sounds weird.
Anyways, as me and the rest of my from-NY party-goers rushed to get to the bus station for a bus back to Manhattan, I gave Heidi a quick hug and goodbye and it hit me: I'm leaving in a week and I have to say goodbye!
I don't think it's really sunk in that I'm leaving. I really don't. A few weeks ago when I got the job offer in San Fran I was excited as all get-out and the 24th of June seemed so far away, and now, it's less than a week away. I have to say goodbye to the amazing friends I've made, to the city that has fostered an immense growth and maturation in me, and to the best four years of my life. And even as I write this, I still don't feel like I'm leaving. I'm not sure when it will it-- when it will hit that this will be the last time I see my old boss and see Heidi for a while. When I got this job offer, I was so excited, now it's just bittersweet.
For those who know me, I think people will agree that I try to have an optimistic outlook on life, and I'm definitely trying to keep it going. I'm treating leaving NY and moving to SF as a new adventure. I had four years to grow up and experience one of the most exciting and awesome places in the world, and who knows? SF might even be better.
But right now, it's hard not only for me to believe that when I get on that westward-bound plane next Friday that I won't be coming back to my home for the last four years anytime soon, but also that I have to leave the fantastic people I've become close to. I feel like I did when I left home for NYU and for those of you who saw me the night I got on my flight from Seattle, you saw how much I cried. I'm not going to front and say that I'm a manly-man and don't cry, because I do. I cry. I cry a lot. I'm sure when the time comes, tears will fall. I have a hard time wanting to show my emotions and getting emotionally intimate with people, so when I cry, you know shit is going down. I know people go through this ALL the time, but that doesn't mean it isn't hard.
Anyways, I feel like I'm ranting right now, but I guess I just want to say a few more things: don't take the people in your lives for granted, because as I've learned, you never know when they will not be in your lives (at least for a while); savor your home, wherever it is, because every home has something to offer and like your friends, you never know when you will leave it; and to resolve to keep your friends and home in your lives no matter where you are. I have two homes, soon to be three with friends and friends-to-be-made.
I didn't mean to get sentimental on all your asses and I'm sorry if this made absolutely no sense. I'm tired as balls and feeling a little blue, a little excited, a little anxious, and a little horny. I guess I mostly just wanna say, like Jim from the Office did when Michael left: "Sometimes, goodbyes are a bitch."
-P
*Thao Nguyen with the Get Down Stay Down - Cool Yourself (As heard in American Teacher by Vanessa Roth--watch it when it comes out!)
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