Gotta Believe We'll Make it Out Alive

MOST STRESSFUL DAY OF WORK EVER.

Lesson 5: Let your feelings be known.

Now, I think this lesson has to be taken with a grain of salt (this is such a weird expression...with a grain of salt? Why not a granule of sugar? Or a dildo?), as I don't know if this lesson is applicable to all situations, but if you take my personal example as a model, I think you'll know when to put this lesson into action.

Anyways, today I go to work and during our editorial meeting, the executive producer for the unit I work for says she wants to day-turn a package about the iPhone 4S (which, probably in the day and age you read this will be ancient. We'll all be so powerful we can probably communicate with brain waves or some crazy shit. Orrrrr, we still suck and we're at like the iPhone 100X or something and it's the same as the iPhone 4S but with an even bigger screen and more processing power! I'm going to bet you it's a portable TV that people mainly use to store porn and watch on the bus to work. I already do that, and I'm way ahead of the curve.). Our news director wasn't all too thrilled with the idea...as I agreed, why do an iPhone 4S story the day BEFORE the phone comes out? Why go through the effort of shooting a story before the main event of that story actually happens? It's like going to the hospital when your wife is in labor and snapping pics of her dilating vagina and leaving before the baby comes out--THERE'S NO POINT. But I digress...and so did the news director.

So of course, my EP sends me out on this story. FINE. I'll make it work. She sets up an interview with her daughter's boyfriend who she CLAIMS has been shopping around Verizon, Sprint, and AT&T for the best plan (the story had evolved into making clear which of the carriers had the best service plan). AND she's also super into the fact that he's had the original iPhone for four years and is finally getting a new one, the 4S. So I go to interview the guy and he is the worst person for this story. First of all, he never "shopped around" and did "research" like my boss said; he's staying on AT&T because he's on a family plan with them already. Secondly, he had no compelling reason to switch over to the iPhone 4S besides the fact that his four-year-old iPhone 1 was dying--no shit?! Your old crappy-ass phone is starting to break?? WOW! NEWSWORTHY ALERT! STOP THE PRESSES! OH MY GOSH. LET'S RUN THIS STORY NEXT TO THE ONE ABOUT HOW YOU GET SLEEPY WHEN YOU DON'T GET ENOUGH SLEEP! HOLY CRAP!! AMAZING!!! So I keep interviewing him, HOPING that I can get some salvageable sound bites to use for my package, but alas, he had a horrible answer (not his fault of course) to everything. He's getting a cheaper service plan from AT&T because he's getting his very old data plan from his original iPhone grandfathered over, and he never once looked at the other carriers, and didn't have to fight in huge lines to get his iPhone 4S. He wasn't even that visibly excited to get it tomorrow. In short, nothing he said really added much to the story. So fuck, I basically had a worthless interview and nothing else set-up.

So I go with my photographer to shoot exteriors of all the carriers' stores and I luckily am able to schmooze enough with one of the store managers at Verizon to give me an interview. And once again, it's a dud. No bites about there being a huge number of sales and really nothing compelling. So I shoot with my photog for a couple hours and I head back to the station to write the script.

I finish writing, in what I think is a very impressive timeframe and give it to the reporter to read. I know what she's thinking, because I agree. The script I wrote is a piece of crap. The story is being carried on two bad interviews and a LOT of Broll. So the reporter tells our EP that she wants to kill the story or downgrade it to just a voiceover and not use the interviews I shot at all, because as I also thought, the interviews did not work with the story.

Now keep in mind, my EP said she thought the script was good, it was only until the reporter told her about how awkward of a story it was that I got the blame. My EP calls me over and says, "look, we HAVE to run this as a package" let me fix the script. So she reworks my script in a way that just changes the wording but doesn't change the impact--it's basically the same story but dressed up differently. And here she is moaning and complaining that I didn't get good enough sound-bites, because obviously, the interview she set up for me was SO brilliant and I just failed at it. And keep in mind, getting a store manager at any corporate store is hard to get the day of a story--oftentimes, these need to be set up at least hours in advance. "Well, did you try to get people on the street getting their iPhones?" "Well, you really should've gotten better sound with so and so" SERIOUSLY?! The person you told me to interview WAS NOT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THIS STORY. The store manager didn't have much to add that was relevant because the crux of the story is the best service plan, and he obviously touted Verizon. AND, getting people on the street to comment on the 4S? NO ONE at the Apple Store was looking for them. You can pre-order the damn things ONLINE. No one was lining up around the block for it. Jeez. And get this, she's trying to rewrite my script not knowing what "data" is and not understanding what "texting" is. WHY DID YOU TRY TO DO THIS STORY?!!?

So anyways, this starts a firestorm between the reporter and our EP; the reporter refuses to run it as a package and my EP wants her to. Basically I get caught in the middle feeling horrible. The reporter apologizes to me about the whole issue, saying that after looking through the interviews I shot, there was no way the story would work and that I did the best with what I got. My EP on the other hand kept trying to shift the blame. It was my fault that our interviewee didn't fit our story, it was my fault that I didn't get good sound. She kept asking me "what did you do for two hours in the field?" Let's see, I interviewed two people, drove around the city getting exteriors I needed and begged people at the other carriers to speak to me, and trying to get people on the street to give me better sound. She even told me it was my fault that I didn't call her to tell her that our interviews weren't working. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought when I was given a task, I'm supposed to do my best to complete it. AND, btw, don't forget, she said my script was fine before the reporter brought up her issue. So basically I'm getting the blame for something out of my control. AND she has the nerve to email me TWICE about what I could've done differently. She says that we got an email from Verizon about a 4S launch party...at 2PM. I first of all don't get those types of emails because my account isn't linked to them, and second of all, I WAS IN THE EFFING FIELD ALL DAY. WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME? There's always time for would-a, could-a, should-a, but at the end of the day, it all got fucked up...if you're just going to rub my face in it without constructive feedback, then shut up!

Sorry that was a very long story...but I had to vent, too. But at the end of this horrible horrible ordeal, the reporter sweetly asks if I'm mad at her. And of course I'm not, because I completely agree that the story was crap. I was given a bag of shit and told to make a story out of it. I'm not GOD. And you're asking a very new producer to do this? My senior producer told me turning this story would've been superhuman and that even with decades of experience she's not sure she could've salvaged it.

So here's where the lesson comes in. It may not have been the most tactful way, but I complained to my reporter, to my cameraman, my co-associate producer, and my senior producer about the way my EP handled the situation. I let them know that it was NOT my fault. I tried my best with the crappy tools and direction that were given to me. And they all agreed, I was not in the wrong. And I guess that's a pretty simple lesson. My EP may think I stunk (although I secretly think she knows she screwed up but just wants to skirt the blame), but the people who I work more closely with know that I didn't. They know I tried, they know I had very limited resources, and they know that if it really came down to it, the story was air-able. I think that's the biggest part of this lesson...letting people know how you feel. You need to be vocal about how you're treated, otherwise you'll just keep getting treated the same way. And you need to be vocal to let others know when things AREN'T your fault. This may be bad advice, but if you are raised by me, you won't be good at kissing ass. There's a fine line between being polite and kissing ass, and you better be good at just the former. Sure, you gotta play the game, but as I've said in previous lessons, try to get ahead on your merit and skill. Whether it's producing a story, getting a promotion at your job, or sucking dicks or something--always try to surpass yourself by just being you, and not a suck-up (unless you're sucking dicks).

So this was a very convoluted lesson, but take away that you just need to let those who will listen know how you feel, especially when it comes to your work. Your job will be a very big part of your life and you can't take the blame for things just because you are on the bottom of the totem pole. Like I said, my boss might think I'm a horrible producer, but I know everyone else doesn't. And just know, that by leading your life this way and being as honorable as you can, you'll be a much more effective leader. Don't shift the blame when it's yours. Take ownership of your actions. EVERYONE makes mistakes, even leaders, and you need to own up to it when you're in that position. I highly disagree with how my EP handled herself. She apologized only for arguing with the reporter in front of me and putting me in the middle, never about having poor judgement not only about our interviewee but the story in general. Just know, that if you are ever in that position, and me as well, that you better take responsibility. If my EP had just said "hey, I'm sorry about what happened, I thought our interviewee was different" the whole problem would never have existed (and to further defend my EP she was never "angry" about the situation, and was for the most part cordial about it and I'm sure the stress of the moment had a lot to do with her actions).

There you go. Be vocal. Be honest. Be yourself. Be an effective leader.

I'm tired.

Go to bed. Or something.

Peace out,

P

Mike del Rio - Mad World

My Blood is Radioactive

Hi there!

I'm in a surprisingly good mood for a Sunday night and having to work tomorrow. It's probably because I had a fun day out with friends apple-picking in Sebastopol and pumpkin patching-ing in Petaluma. And also because I had In-n-Out for the first time!! YAY! It was effing delicious. I also ate at this place called CREAM for the first time. SO GOOD. Sounds dirty, I know, but after you get their ice-cream sandwiches in your mouth...you'll be creaming...if you know what I mean. Ugh, I'm gross.

Anyways, onto the lesson, because I have to go to bed soon!

Lesson 4: Take the time to know what you want to do with your life.

I know, sounds like a big thing to accomplish, right? Well you're right, it is. That means this is something that will be hard, take a lot of self-reflection, and a lot of time.

I've been reading a lot about one's working life lately, surprisingly because of the death of former Apple CEO, Steve Jobs. After his death, I watched a YouTube video off his graduation address to a graduating class at Stanford. He basically said what my dad has always told me--to find the thing you love and enjoy, and run with it. It is only when you find that passion and that true and pure enjoyment that you can be happy AND successful.

So that is something I want you to understand. I'm probably not the best person to ask, because frankly, I have NO idea what I'm doing with my life and don't fully comprehend what your grandpa has been telling me for years.

As I've mentioned before, I'm not in love with my job. It's tolerable and at times enjoyable, but I don't wake up everyday, thinking "Damn, I can't wait to get to work!" I think more along the lines of "Fuck, I'm tired. I need to poop." Something else Jobs said is that your work takes up a very large amount of your life, so you should be spending it in a way that you truly want--I guess just living your work and not just working it.

I hope that is something that you can strive for and something, that when you get to an appropriate enough an age, can understand and put into action. I've been at this job for about three or four months now, which is nothing. But I think I can already tell that it isn't the job for me. I want it to be, because that would make life a hell of a lot easier, but unfortunately, life isn't always that nice--sometimes (s)he can be the biggest douche ever. A vag-cleansing device from hell.

And it's scary. I want to love this job because I want to know that I'll be happy in this job and secure and not have to worry about not only finding another job, but finding another job that I want. I thought I wanted to be in the TV news industry my whole life, and maybe I still do, but I have my doubts. If on a local level I don't like it, what are the chances a nationally syndicated show would be much better? So I guess the question you need to answer is whether or not you're willing to take the risk to find out. I sure as hell don't know if I am. I hope by the time you read this, I will have raised you to listen with 80% of your heart and 20% of your brain (and maybe a few percent points in there with your dick/lady-parts in the right situations). I am a firm believer of fate, but I am also a firm believer in instinct and intuition. Your brain is for thinking, but your heart is for feeling. If a situation doesn't feel right, don't follow into it, if something feels good, then go for it. Your brain can figure out the logistics later.

So after all of this, I guess I have no real how-to for this lesson. I, myself, am trying to figure out what I want to do after this stage of my life. I've thought about food journalism, video game journalism, documentary film, and even moving back into print work. I think the big thing to take away from this is not being afraid to ask yourself the hard questions and not being afraid of the answers. I hate that my answers contradict the job I'm in, but that is the most valuable thing of all. Knowing what you DON'T want to do. It's just as valuable as knowing what you do want to do. And be patient (which, I know if you have my genes workin' up in your bod, you probably won't be). The answers aren't all going to come quickly and aren't always going to be right. But that's the fun part of living your life with your heart and feeling as opposed to the logic-speak of your noggin. Life is unpredictable and so are you, so why not lead your life with the most unpredictable part of you.

I don't know where I'll end up after my job contract runs its course. I want the security of having a job and hopefully a promotion after my contract is up, but does job security outweigh feeling somewhat unfulfilled. I don't know. I guess we'll see what happens. This is horrible leading by example, but I hope that if and when you find yourself in this situation, you'll think "dad, you're dumb" and really put some thought into what you want out of your life and how you're going to get there. Just keep in mind we all tread different paths.

And I also want to thank you, because by writing this, I am learning more about myself and am feeling braver in facing myself and asking those tough questions. I am a true optimist, and I am hoping I have imparted that to you--everything will work out okay.

Lesson 4.5: Don't go through this on your own. I'm sure you have a lovely and supporting family and friend system. Use them as your resource. I know first-hand, your aunts are amazing.

I hope this isn't so melodramatic. I am writing this at 10:48PM on a Sunday night, a 22-year-old sitting in NYU sweats and a lime-green tee. It might just be the fatigue, but I think despite my youth, I have a lot on my mind I want to say. It's so weird...I feel like I'm years and years away from knowing who you are and from you actually reading this, but I feel like I sort of know you already. Jeez. I am so dramatic.

I need to sleep.

Love,

P

Marina and the Diamonds - Radioactive

Yeah, I Don't Mind Sleeping With My TV On

I'm too effing tired to come up with a good lead-in to today's lesson. Writing too much at work and I am MUY tired!

So lesson fo': Never be afraid to ask questions.

You know that old saying that "there's no such things as stupid questions?" Well, fuck, whoever said that is totally wrong. Of course there's such a thing! There are ALWAYS dumb questions that can be asked--the real issue is, if it's worth asking.

Take today at work for example. I was supposed to produce a segment from (read: steal a segment idea from) the network level CBS Early Show for our local station. My boss told me to look up the segment. But when she told me, she just said an early show, not "the Early Show" (with the caps, making it a proper noun, meaning I would've known it was the network level show, not one of our own local early shows). So I'm searching around our local CBS show site for the segment and cannot find it AT ALL. Now of course, I probably should've assume she meant the network level show because, why would we wanna re-show a segment that was put on like ten hours ago? But I had just worked a ten hour shift the night before and was butt-fuck tired. So in any case, I spent wasted minutes looking up the stuff and holding our cameraman up when I just should've swallowed my pride and asked my boss. When I finally did, she didn't even roll her eyes or anything (at least not outside where I could see) and clarified that it was a network level segment.

That definitely wasn't an interesting story. But the moral of the story is that if I had the balls and was humble enough to ask for help and ask what I thought was a dumb question, I could've saved myself and my cameraman a lot of time. There's probably more meaningful examples, but like I said, I'm tired. I don't owe you anything. You read this, you enjoy it, and you figure it out. Love you!

-P

Jack's Mannequin - Televsion

Don't Stop, Push it Now

I don't have a very good lead-up to the next lesson. Sorry. I'm really tired (this half-marathon training is killing me slowly. Something's always hurting. My feet throb, my ankle's sore, my shins hurt, my knee is bothering me, my calf is tight, my back is out of whack...I feel like an old person. I did an eight or nine mile run on Monday and today I could barely get past two...ugh. I don't know HOW I did XC in high school. Seriously. Maybe because I was so much younger back then...Props to all the dedicated badass runners out there. Such machines.), AND I have to work tomorrow, Sunday. Boo. So I'm gonna try to write this and hop in bed early.

Without further adieu,

Lesson 3: Always try to take risks and challenge yourself.

When I look back on my life, I see a few moments that I am very proud of because I chose to follow my heart (cheesy, I know, but your daddy is a true emotional-ist), and that oftentimes included taking a big risk.

My first big general risk and challenge was all of high school. I think the end of middle school and all throughout high school is when I started to blossom and really start finding myself a bit. In elementary school I was an awkward, geeky Asian kid with a hefty weight problem and then an awkward, geeky Asian kid that was oddly very skinny in middle school (I would later attribute the reason to my orthodontics--my teeth hurt so bad I HAD TO starve myself. That, and I grew a lot and the fat probably just more evenly distributed itself). High school, like the porridge for that sneaky bitch Goldilocks, was just right. I decided to break out of my shell a bit and spread my legs...haha just kidding, spread my wings, and really put myself out there. I met my bestest friends in high school, did things I never thought I would, and found my passion for journalism. This is very vague, I know, but high school was a great maturing and self-discovering process for me, and I think I owe it all to trying to create a new slate and just being positive about an opportunity that could help me become a person I'd like to be.

The second risk/challenge (rallenge?chisk?) was deciding to pack up and move to New York for school. For very obvious reasons, I see this as the biggest life-changing event in my life. I moved across the country to a city VERY different than Renton, and spent the next four years there. If I hadn't moved there, I don't think I would've grown as much or in the same way. I fell in love with that city, and I am so appreciative of my decision (and all the support) to go there. I was presented with so many opportunities and was able to learn so much and got to experience a city in a way I never would have otherwise (and got to live in Prague for a semester which was also a big PLUS! You better study abroad). And moving away from home really set the bar for me to be open to change and moving in the name of being ambitious and furthering myself.

That leads to chisk three. Moving to the Bay Area. I left my heart in New York, but a second out-of-body heart is growing here in San Francisco, too. It was so hard to leave and sometimes feels even harder to be here because even though I'm so close to home...I'm not there. People always ask if I plan on moving back to Seattle, and the answer is usually always "no." It's not that I hate my family or my friends--it's quite the opposite. But I have lofty goals for myself and I don't see myself accomplishing them there. Seattle is an amazing and beautiful city that I'm sure harbors plenty of opportunities, but it doesn't feel like home in the same way New York and San Francisco do. I just don't know how to explain it. I'm probably giving a very biased point of view, because the fact of the matter is, I feel out of touch with Seattle past the amazing people I know that live there. I haven't given it a fair chance, I know. But at this point, I like it in San Francisco so much and miss New York the same amount that I don't know if I can give Seattle the chance it deserves. And that is a huge challenge in itself. Knowing where you want to be, and knowing where you belong. There probably isn't a right answer for that and it may take a while to find out. Heck if I know where I want and should be. Sometimes I yearn to fly back to the east coast and be in the Big Apple again, sometimes I miss my family and friends so much I'd be happy to book a flight home and stay forever, and sometimes I enjoy the Bay Area so much that I decide I'd be content staying here forever--and sometimes I get the urge for something new yet again. There's so many risks and challenges involved in moving. I get afraid that I will lose touch with my friends, that they'll progress without me, and I have always hated being away from my family, especially my sisters/your aunties. But you always have to stop and think that you're doing all this for the betterment of yourself. What you choose to do, should be a risk or challenge--that's what makes it worth it. I ball my eyes out whenever I fly to one of these cities because I hate leaving, but I also know leaving is worth it. Granted, I probably would be just as happy and successful staying in one place like Seattle, but I don't know if I would want to change anything. I'm happy with the life I've lead so far and I'm so happy to have the support of everyone around me. And that's another thing--make sure the risks and challenges you endure are backed by your family and friends--that also makes it worth it...and survive-able.

Andddd, this whole lesson was inspired by the fact that I had to work tomorrow, because for the first time, I will be writing for several of Sunday's newscasts. Something I have never done before. I'm excited, really nervous, but I'm up for the CHALLENGE. AND THE RISK. And I know it says a lot about who I am as an employee for stepping up to the plate and doing it. So huzzah! Learn my child, learn!

So I know that's a lot to take in, but I'm sure when the time comes, you'll know when to apply this knowledge.

Alright, like I said, your pops has to work tomorrow, so I'm finishing up this post now. See what I do for you? I write late into the night to educate you, even when I have to work on a Sunday. You better appreciate the hell out of me. And I mean lavish gifts and treating me like a king when I get old.

Love you!

P

The Sounds - Tony the Beat