To Learn in Life, You Have to Fall Face First, Hit Rock Bottom

Sorry it's been a while. I just had an amazing weekend with thee only David, Dennis, and Mika! Days of endless walking, nights of talking and randomness, and non-stop eating. I should've had horrible explosive diarrhea every night, but somehow I didn't. Amazing. Anyways...

Lesson 7: Realize how much your actions matter.

So once again, this lesson is derived from a day at work. Today I went out to shoot an interview with one of my favorite photographers (well, really, the photographers in general are my favorite people at the station because one off, they're guys and consequently they don't breed and breathe drama like the women in the station and secondly they're just really grounded and fun to be around.) in San Leandro. I'm interviewing our interviewee and I can hear my photog's phone buzzing non-stop. Turns out one of my senior producers is repeatedly texting him asking him where he is and why he didn't leave the footage he had shot with her the week before. So after the interview raps up, I ask him to take some broll shots of our interviewee and he asks me to make a call to my executive producer to see why the senior producer is freaking out. My EP has no idea and doesn't seem to have a clue as to what is going on and tells me she'll call me back. She calls me back and asks to speak to the photographer where she proceeds to chew him out for not leaving the footage from last week even though the senior producer (who, to her defense is usually great and very sweet) had an opportunity to call the photographer before I took him to shoot my interview.

It somehow turned into the photographer's fault that no one asked him to upload the footage. It was the end of the day on a Friday when he finished the shoot and he was around at least for twenty minutes before we left for the shoot, so plenty of time was to be had for a call to the photographer. So we talked about how poor the leadership was on the team. My EP, as we've come to realize is just a bad leader. As you've seen from my previous posts, my EP is kinda crazy sometimes, likes to shift blame, and isn't in touch with the people she works with--she basically can't lead and can't manage...two very important traits for an EP and Newsroom Manager.

The funny thing though is that my EP and the others in my unit (all girls and most with big egos...I'm not trying to be sexist, but I really believe if more guys were in our unit, things would be A LOT easier...and if you are my daughter reading this...well, I don't mind that you have a vagina...just don't be a bitch, please) is that they DON'T have a clue that the way they interact with people is the sole reason why our unit is unorganized and isn't as cohesive as it should be. It's a constant clash of egos. People talk about other people behind their backs, people have attitude, people are bossy, and my boss especially lacks any tact and any people skills. I sit at Ground Zero in my newsroom. Between all the producers and my EP and have been at the epicenter of screaming, bitchy cat-fight after cat-fight. I can literally listen to a fight and pin-point where the the conversation took a downward spiral into a fight. I can even come up with a solution of my own and think of ten different ways to diffuse a situation that the women in this unit cannot seem to figure out. It's SO simple. BE NICE. There's never an excuse to be rude. But it's just a constant butting of heads. A simple disagreement over a shot or a line of track in a story turns into a huge fight and hurt feelings. THAT'S not how you lead! The perfect example was during the interview. Instead of coming off all hot and steaming at the photographer, my EP could've easily said, "Hey, Chris, I'm sorry, but we totally forgot that you had the footage still. Do you think you could feed it back to the station when you get a chance? We really need it." Instead of what she actually said "Chris. Why didn't you think to give the footage to Jess this morning? You should've at least told her you weren't gonna be back until later today. I really don't need this drama." (Keep in mind I had put the interview I scheduled in our calendar that we ALL have access to last week AND I announced I was taking Chris for a shoot twenty minutes prior to when I left--meaning plenty of time to have gotten the footage, but apparently no one listened or cared) See the difference? My approach would've diffused the situation. My EP's just made it worse.

So in the end we talked a lot about how poor of a leader my EP is and how the catty-ness of our unit just does nothing for our team...nothing positive at least. And like I said, no one seems to notice they are killing themselves and our product in the process. I hope you can realize that the way you conduct yourself, especially when you become a leader in your own right, that people aren't dumb. They know how they feel and they know what kind of person you are through the way you interact with them and what your actions show. That saying that actions speak louder than words? COMPLETELY true. You may not notice yourself how people react to your actions, but rest assured, people are definitely paying attention and for better or worse, really adds to how people see and judge you.

There you go. Not a very entertaining read, but an important one! Do what you do, but be ready for the consequences!

Also, I hope in the future when you're reading this, McDonalds is still selling 20-chicken McNugget meals, because those are delicious.

Bye,
Patrick

Pablo - Rock Bottom

We Are Shining and Will Never be Afraid Again

Hellooooo! It's been quite a long time since I've posted. I'm sorry. I hope I'm not as neglectful when I'm an actual parent...but I probably will be, so I hope by the time you read this you've become super self-sufficient and independent--preferably moved out and not needing any financial assistance from me.

Anyways, I'm in a GREAT mood because I ran my first half-marathon. I know it's not a full one, or a triathlon, or anything spectacular, but I'm proud of myself and am glad I did it!

I'm sure my legs are gonna hate me tomorrow, but they have no choice but to deal with it.

So onto the next lesson.

Lesson 6: Always believe that things are going to work out...even if it doesn't seem like they are.

So I'm not going to lie and say that life is all kittens and sprinkles (both of which I don't like very much, so I've probably raised you accordingly. Just replace 'kittens' with something phallic/vaginal and 'sprinkles' with something nasty/sexual and I know you are my true kin) and things AREN'T always going to work out, but if you go into something thinking--or worse, believing it won't...well, that's just gonna eff you over from the get-go.

Take today's half for example. It was my first half, I was under-trained, coming from an injury and a cold, and tired from waking up at the crack of dawn. But I believed that things would work out and that, heck, if I didn't finish, I'd have fun and know I tried my best. There's always a bright side to everything (at least most things...if you're getting stabbed and murdered or cheated on or something...well....that sucks) and it's good to always have that in the back of your mind.

Or take for instance figuring out your life. As I write this I am only 22 years young, look like I'm still in high school, have the maturity of a 13 year old preteen, and the aspirations of someone far more experienced in both their work and in life. I spend a lot of time thinking about what I can and will do with my life. I have lofty goals for myself and I sometimes catch myself in a rut of "can I really do this?" or "should I give up and try something else?" But I always try and pull myself out of that, because there's no point in feeling sorry for yourself. You just have to know and believe that whatever you're aiming for, something will work out. It may not be the outcome that you wanted, but if you worked for it and if you are still passionate about it, then you can't ask for more...and if it isn't the outcome you want, then try again. That's the great thing about life and having this outlook on it--life doesn't tell you to stop and give up. You do. If you go in with a positive attitude that you know something good is going to come of your work, then do it! There's no one stopping you but yourself (unless there's some bitch like literally blocking your way from doing something...in which case, knock that bitch-ass down!).

So I know, once again, I've given you a very vague lesson, but that's because I'm still trying to learn this, too. Like I said, I'm 22 and am already worried about what I'm going to do with my life. I want big things for myself and I know part of it is my impatience and part of it is my nagging bitch-voice telling me to lower my expectations. But that's something you just need to tune out. Think big, because I know you're capable of a lot. Anyone is. Again, just think to yourself that it may take days or years, but if you really, truly, and sincerely care about something, you can't go wrong by at least trying to attain it.

I'm tired. So I'm gonna stop. Eat some ice cream. Watch some TV. BECAUSE I DESERVE IT.

Love,

P

Florence + the Machine - Spectrum