I'm Known for Running My Mouth

Phew! It's been a very very long time! I'm very sorry! I've been really busy, lazy, and just yesterday, I fell while on a run and twisted my ankle and busted my knee. Your father is a very rugged outdoorsy man, you know. Well, that's a lie and you know it, but getting injured like that did make me feel very manly. However, I am now paying the price. My LEFT ankle and my RIGHT knee are super-swollen. So it's pretty great that BOTH my legs are effed up. It makes walking VERY easy. I'm being facetious. If you didn't catch on. I hope you did, though. Because if you didn't, I'd be really afraid you're were really dumb...and I'd be a little ashamed. What else...oh! I surprised your aunties and grandma and grandpa and great-grandma and the rest of the family for Thanksgiving! It was great. I was so clever. I'm the best son, brother, person ever! I'm amazing! You should learn to be more modest.

But onto the lesson!

Lesson 8: Don't settle.

It sounds simple, but is it really? See how I wrote that like a news tease? I am horrible at writing news teases. If you ever get into news writing-and I won't judge you if you do, but I'll think a little less of you because I hate it- don't take lessons from me. Anyways, this sort of ties into my lesson. I hope by the time you read this, you'll have realized that I raised you to be a dreamer. My own mommy and daddy and my sisters have always encouraged me to follow my passion, even when I doubted it myself. They've made me somewhat of an idealist. I don't know how much of a realist bone I have in my body (but I do have a real "bone!" hahaha...get it? I mean a boner) and I guess that's not necessarily the best thing, but I think it's a good thing to be a dreamer. I hope I have raised you to think beyond yourself and your means. Life isn't easy, but I hope you have learned that despite how difficult it can be, it's also full of opportunities and if you believe and want it enough, things will fall into place when you need them to...and well, sometimes they don't...but at least you knew you tried to make them fall into place.

But anyways, I bring this up, because I sincerely believe that every person is capable of amazing things if they think they can. I know I talk a lot about my job and how unsatisfied I am with it and that really hasn't changed. Grandpa and Grandma both think I should stay at this job because it's a job. As I see it, it's not worth it. Yes, it's a job, but I wouldn't be happy staying there. I refuse to settle. I don't enjoy the function and purpose of my job, I don't particularly like the people I work with, and it's an industry I lose more and more faith in as time goes on. So while I'm scared out of my mind, I take solace and (maybe naively) and happiness in knowing that the world is so full of opportunities. It may be because I am too much of an optimist or too much of an idealist, but that's how you get by in the world. I could leave this job and think "oh, jeez, I am so fucked. I am going to have suck dicks and sell my body to make money and then lie to my family about it during holiday gatherings and it'll get to the point where I'll have jizz in my hair because I gave a bj to some guy on the street right before I came over and people will ask 'hey, is that jizz in your hair' and I'll have to make up a lie like in 'There's Something About Mary' but everyone will have seen it and not believe me and I'll have to make up another extravagant lie that no one believes in and I'll have an emotional breakdown and have to confess to having penises in my mouth" but instead I'm going to think "I'm young, I'm capable, and I have faith that an even better opportunity will come along." Now, if you wanna think about having dicks in your mouth, that's totally fine. You are who you are.

Now I know it can sound scary to not settle, but even the people I have talked to at work agree. People who settled regret it and oftentimes, years and years after they made the decision to. The thing about settling is that when you settle, it's hard to unsettle yourself. So I hope that in your life, you make decisions not solely based on the fact that it's safe and secure, but based on the fact that you WANT to make that decision and you believe in the outcome that you want that decision to have. You deserve more than selling yourself short. Take chances, because I know I'll have raised someone that knows what they want out of life and is willing to take the risks and put in the hard work to get there.

There ya go! All done! Class adjourned.

I hope when you read this, I'm still as cool as I was when I wrote this...which is really cool. I'm hoping my dirty talk of dicks and sex will still be as popular in my speech as a parent.

Love,

Patrick

NASA ft. Kanye West, Lykke Li, Santogold - Gifted